Goodbye
by LieutenantjgMegAustin
Summary: Sixteen years after Claire's death, it is time for a final goodbye.


Charlotte McLeod knelt beside the grave of her mother, grandparents and uncle. She had never known them and yet they seemed so familiar to her. Sixteen years had passed since Claire McLeod had died when her truck had tumbled down a gorge after her sister Tess had rescued Charlotte.

'Mum, why did you have to leave me? I need you now more than ever!' Charlotte cried, crystalline tears springing to her eyes.

'Hey Bom. My, haven't you grown. Look just like me.' Claire said from behind her daughter.

'But you haven't seen me grow up.' Charlotte replied, turning to face her mother's spirit. Claire folded her arms and shook her head, dressed in the clothes she had died in sixteen years ago.

'Bom, listen! I have been here, only you didn't know that for fourteen years. Do you remember the song I was singing to you the last day I was with you?'

Charlotte looked reproachfully at her mother, searching her own memory.

'Stop calling Bom; I am too old for that. And yes I do. "The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round. The wheels on the bus go round and round all through the sun."' Tears sprang again to Charlotte's eyes.

'Charlotte! Dinner!' An insistent voice called.

'Go on, go to Alex. Aunty Tess will have dinner ready for you.' Claire urged her daughter.

'No, I want to stay here with you.'

'Bom, listen to me. You have been doing this with me for two years now. You must stop.'

'But I can't say goodbye.' Charlotte said.

'Bom!' Alex called again, using Charlotte's nickname as he trudged up the hill in search of her.

'Char, ride Phoenix for me. Ride her in the wind. Please.' Claire begged. She could sense Alex.

Charlotte nodded silently as Alex approached.

'Charlotte. Who're you talking to mate?' He asked, standing beside her as the sun set.

'Beautiful isn't it?' Charlotte asked, changing the subject.

'Yes. Now tell me who...'

'You can almost see mum's spirit in it.'

Alex sighed.

'Charlotte; listen to me. Your Aunty Tess went through the same thing you're going right after your mum died. You've got to let her go.' Alex replied, taking her hand.

Charlotte shook her head silently; Alex wasn't one to push too much. So she let him take her down the hill back to Drovers Run.

'About time! Where was she Alex?' Meg asked, running out the house, Tess, Nick, Jodi and Becky in tow.

'Where else? She went to Claire's grave again.' Alex replied.

'So?? I am trying to say goodbye! I can't do that!' Charlotte yelled, yanking her hand away from Alex and running into the house. Everyone stared after her.

'Maybe one of us should....' Jodi began to say tentatively. At age thirty-five she still lived at Drover's Run, but then, this was her home; all she had known her whole life; and she still hadn't learnt to not interfere.

'No Jodes. Leave her alone.' Nick replied. Tess snuggled up to him, smiling.

'So, how is Keiva doing at school?' Becky quickly changed the subject; they could all hear Charlotte banging around in her room.

'She's doing fine. She'll be home for a holiday next week.' Tess answered. From above them they heard Charlotte scream in anger.

'Maybe you should go Tess.' Meg suggested worriedly.

'When she is like this....' Tess began, but everyone just gave her the Claire McLeod look, and it was Alex who had the most effect on her.

'Okay. Look Claire, I'll go.' Tess said, and then stopped short, staring at Alex. Both turned from each other, embarrassed.

'Tess, are you okay?' Nick asked. Tess kept staring beyond Alex; she could see Claire beyond Roy's favourite tree.

'I-I know. I'm going to...' Tess pointed inside and left.

'Bom? Can I come in?' Tess asked.

'Get lost! Only she was allowed to call me that!'

'Charlotte, I want to talk to you. I know what you are going through.'

'The hell you do! You can never know what I am going through!' Charlotte screamed, throwing her stuffed teddy of sixteen years at Tess. Tess dodged it and grabbed Charlotte, pinning her arms to her sides.

'Listen, Right after your mum died, I saw her. Saw her for a day...the day of her funeral.'

'Yeah, and you only told me six years later that she had died; only when I was fourteen did you say "Oh and by the way, your mum died in a car accident." Do you know what that is like?'

Tess sighed. She had never counted on Charlotte being a temperamental teen.

'Charlotte, you were in the car; I was too. I was lucky enough to get you out!'

'So? I never knew my mum!!!! Ben did, Carla did, and Keiva does!'

'Ben is thirteen, Carla is ten and Keiva is only seven!'

'Oh rack off. I don't care; they know their parents; my father doesn't even give a rat's arse about me – he never cared that mum died!'

'Bom, listen to Aunty Tess.' Claire's voice of reason said.

'No,' was the sullen reply

'No to what?' Tess asked. Charlotte ignored her.

'Shut up. Like I'd tell you anything. You wouldn't get it. And I don't care if you know what I am going through; at least you knew your mum.'

Tess pushed Charlotte onto the bed.

'I watched my mother die of breast cancer.'

'What? That thing you almost died of? The thing that you were told you didn't have the day mum died? Get out! I never want to talk to you again!' Charlotte screamed at Tess as she released her.

'Fine. But remember Charlotte Prudence McLeod. This is your family.' Tess said as she exited the room and slammed the door.

'Bom, why'd you do that? She's only trying to help you.' Claire said.

'Yeah, right. And Peter "I-am-married-with-two-kids. Sorry-I-broke-your-heart" Johnson cares too, doesn't he? He has never tried to contact me my whole life.'

'So how's school going?' Claire changed the topic quickly.

'Like you care. You're dead.'

'Char, you have to let me go. I can't move on without you letting me go.'

'Leave me alone.' Charlotte burst into tears. Her sobs were loud and raging. They brought Alex running.

'Hey mate. What's wrong?' He asked gently.

'I can't do it Alex. I can't say it to her.' Charlotte buried her face in his shoulder. Alex was kind. He didn't push things.

'Can't do what?'

'Let mum go. I can't. It is too hard.'

'Charlotte, how can you live your life? You've been this way since we told you how she died two years ago.'

'Uncle Alex? Mum wants ya.' Carla called from the end of the hall.

'Tell her I'm busy with your cousin.' Alex replied. They heard Carla's footsteps thunder back towards the kitchen, and faintly heard her relay the message.

'Alex Ryan, you spoil her.' Tess said half-heartedly. She was carrying Charlotte's dinner in her hands.

'I am not hungry.'

'I thought we weren't talking anymore.' Tess sat beside Charlotte and Alex on the floor, the dinner on the dresser.

'Sorry. But it is hard; I can't do this!'

'I know how hard it is. Alex does too. He still hasn't let her go.'

'Oi, I have too.' Alex said, but Charlotte knew he was lying.

'You saw her in the sunset too.'

'Yeah, I did Char.' Alex held her tightly.

Tess caught his eyes, sad, depressed eyes.

'You can do it. Both of you. When Keiva comes home next week, we'll all go to her grave. All say goodbye.'

'Mummy!' Keiva called, running into Tess' arms. Nick got out the car and smiled, watching his youngest daughter and wife together, then his eyes fell on Charlotte. Tears sprang to her eyes as she watched Keiva and Tess embrace.

'Come here.' Becky called. Charlotte ran to Becky, and cried in her arms. Meg and Jodi returned from drenching the sheep to this scene. While Jodi scampered off to have a shower, Meg signaled silently to Tess.

'Thanks Meg. Hey Keiva, dad will help you unpack. Then can you get Carla and Ben? We're going somewhere special.'

'Is it for Charlotte?' Ben's voice asked behind them.

'Yes.'

'Is it because she can't let her mum go?'

'Yes Ben.'

'I don't care. I'm not going.'

'Ben...' Nick said warningly to his son. Ben stuck his tongue out at Nick, then stuck his finger up at Charlotte.

'Listen Ben. Charlotte needs to do this. She is...' Tess was at a loss for words.

'She is very upset; how would like it if you were kept in the dark for fourteen years about how your mum died?' Meg asked him.

'Well, I'd just forget about her wouldn't I? Seeing as I am the black duck of the family, I really do not care. Charlotte is all you care about! I am a bloke stuck with seven girls and only two other blokes to talk to! Do you know what it is like?' Ben threw a rock towards Charlotte's leg, grazing it.

'Ben! Don't hurt her!' Keiva ran to her cousin's side, and Charlotte pulled away from Becky and picked her up in a hug.

'Hey little K. How's it going?' Charlotte's mood lightened slightly.

'I missed you. I wanna go to the graves now. I wanna say goodbye with you.'

Charlotte looked at Tess and Alex.

'Yeah let's go now.' Tess replied.

Half an hour later, the party was trotting up the hill towards Claire's grave. Tess signalled to Oscar and everyone to stop while Alex and Charlotte went on, telling them to join them later.

'Alex...are you sure we're doing the right thing?' Charlotte asked.

'Yeah, of course.' He replied as they arrived at the graves. They dismounted and walked towards the marker that made Claire's stand out.

'You can do it.' They heard Claire's voice tell them.

Alex went first. He lay down a bunch of flowers, and whispered into the wind.

'Goodbye Claire. I love you always.'

Charlotte stepped forward as he stepped back, staring into the sunset. She saw her mother, and felt a small hand slip into her own. Keiva had come to join her.

'Mum, I have waited sixteen years to say these words. I never thought I would be able to do this, but Alex and Keiva; your youngest niece gave me the courage to. I will always love you and never forget you. I will carry your memory with me where ever I go, and I promise to always keep Drover's Run in the family.

'Mum, I hope you can hear me. I hope this message gets to you where ever you are. My final words to you. From your darling Bom.'

Charlotte paused as tears coursed down her face. Keiva squeezed her hand tightly.

'You can do it.' She whispered. Charlotte nodded. Picking up the roses she had bought earlier that morning, she threw them over the hill as she uttered the final farewell to Claire Louise McLeod.

'Good bye Mum.'


End file.
